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Jack Phillips of the Masterpiece Cakeshop in Lakewood, Colorado, has prevailed, and that is good news for all deeply religious bakers, including me.

Here’s the background. In a 7-2 decision, the Supreme Court said Colorado’s Civil Rights Commission erred in charging Mr. Phillips with a violation of the state’s anti-discrimination statute due to his purported Christian beliefs.

The commission had fined him for refusing to bake a wedding cake for a gay couple in 2012, and the Colorado courts upheld that decision.

But thanks to the Supreme Court, Mr. Phillips can now turn down every single wedding cake order he receives from marriage-minded gay men and lesbians. Sweet! (And what a relief for him, since he must have quite a backlog of orders.)

As a religious baker with a heart for discrimination, I intend to get a slice of this action at my new enterprise, My Commandment Cakerie.

I can’t wait to turn away customers based on my own firmly held religious beliefs.

Starting tomorrow, I will ask a few questions before I agree to take an order of any kind:

Have you ever killed bugs, including fleas and deer ticks?

Because if you have, please know that due to my religious beliefs, I won’t bake you a cake. Heck, I won’t even let you buy a stale snickerdoodle.

Have you ever coveted your neighbor’s spouse, house, or Cooper Mini?

If so, get out of this cakerie, now! Due to my religious beliefs, I don’t serve coveters, even if the coveting of a red Cooper Mini convertible is possibly understandable (just not forgivable).

Have you ever stolen so much as an extra napkin from McDonald’s?

Yes?! Then scram, because I don’t serve thieves.

I’m sure My Commandment Cakerie will be a big hit. Stop by soon, and be prepared to walk away without the cake of your dreams!

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This blog has gone swimming. See you in a few weeks.

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